


(Dog) Tricks and (Cat) Treats

by cinderellasleftshoe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Companionable Snark, F/M, Fairy Tale Elements, Fluff and Humor, Halloween, M/M, Other, Trick or Treating, canon-ish?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-08-24 09:07:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8366485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinderellasleftshoe/pseuds/cinderellasleftshoe
Summary: Sam and Dean stumble into a spell that turns them into a dog and cat. Castiel tries to sort it all out but doesn't really understand Halloween. Charlie shows up. Lots of arguing. Arguing like, well yes, like cats and dogs. Cat and dog-related humor. Also, Dean the Cat is still allergic to cats and still likes pie. You knew all along that Sam was a puppy dog.





	1. Fools rush in

**Author's Note:**

> cannon-ish

Some phrases you hear so often they become like a light rain. They wash over you without tasting like much, or really changing anything much. But maybe, just once in awhile, those old saws are worth thinking about. Just on the odd moonlit night the week before Halloween. Like on a night when you’re rushing in where angels fear to tread.

 

“No, I can’t,” Castiel told Sam shaking his head. “It’s … it feels _wrong_.”

 

“Wrong?” Sam asked, moving his hands to his hips and squaring off his broad shoulders. Frustration wrinkled his forehead.  
  
“Yes, wrong. Unpleasant. Prickly. Wrong.” Castiel rubbed long fingers across the back of his neck and them brought both hands up to scrub at his own face.  
  
“Well, lots of things feel wrong. Some of them are wrong-wrong. And some are good-wrong. Let’s just do this and hope for the good-wrong. Dean can hold the front, and we’ll go around the back.”

 

“Good-wrong?” Castiel’s mouth twitched into a skeptical frown, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. “How can good be wrong or wrong be good?”  
  
Sam tilted his head left to right considering the question. “Well, like duck fat fries, coffee oatmeal stout, bunny slippers…”

 

“Cas!” Dean’s sharp tone caused both Sam and the archangel to pivot in his direction. “Is there anything besides your feelings keeping you out of that creepy looking shack?”  
  
“No. Other than the ‘keep out’ handpainted sign on the garden gate. Which, would seem to indicate that we are not wanted.”  
  
“OK, then.” Gathering himself, Dean pointed at Sam and Castiel. “You two, circle around the back. I’ll go in the front.”

 

“This is a bad idea, Dean. It feels…”  
  
“Wrong. I heard you the first time. But after all that good-wrong-ing, I’m needing pub food and my pajamas. So, let’s get this show on the road!”  
  


* * *

 

Sam and Castiel stepped back into the treeline, and quietly picked their way around to the back of the rustic old cabin. The fence was broken here, and a path led from the backdoor into the woods. Some of the windows in the back of the cabin were covered in aluminum foil. One was hung with heavy drapes that could have been navy, purple or dark grey in the weakening twilight. A faint light was seeping out from around the drapes. With its warmth and flickering, it was probably light from a fire in the fireplace.

 

There were no moving shadows or breaks in the light, so probably no one was moving inside or watching them through the window. Sam whispered all of this to Cas, who nodded and stepped up against Sam’s right shoulder. Sam nodded back, whistled once, brought his gun up, sighted down its barrel, and moved quickly up the path with the angel one step behind and to the right.  
  
Dean closed his eyes and visualized Sam and Cas’ progress from the treeline, through the overgrown yard, and up to the back door. He waited in the shadows breathing through his nose and listening. At the sound of Sam’s birdcall, Dean raised his handgun, sighted down its barrel, and ran toward the front of the house.

 

He hurdled the broken fence and kept moving, a few limbs from the overgrown trees slapping at his arms. Sam kicked through the back door about a second before Dean burst through the front. A flash of purple smoke, and Castiel hauled up short, smelling petrichor and feeling a spark shoot up his limbs. He caught himself on the doorframe, ducking to the left side. He blinked a few times clearing the smoke and the flash of light from his field of vision.

 

“Woof!” said the German Shepherd sitting at Castiel’s feet. “Woof! Woof! Woof!”  
  
“Sam?” Asked Castiel looking down at the dog in confusion.  
  
“Yes! Why are you so much taller, Cas?” Sam the Dog lifted his left hind leg and scratched behind his ear.  
  
Castiel stared at Sam the Dog. “Sam … I am afraid…”

 

Cas and Sam the Dog were interrupted by a loud feline howl, which seemed to be coming from the large Seal Point Siamese cat running toward them. “ROWL!” cried the Siamese cat.

 

Sam the Dog turned and said, “Dean!?”  
  
The cat skidded to a halt at their feet and paws. “Sam!?” Dean the Cat asked, the shock raising the fur along his spine.

 

“I told you this felt wrong,” Castiel snapped.

Dean the Cat sneezed. “Dammit. I’m allergic to cats!”


	2. Ruh-Roh!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel in a car, with a dog and a cat.

Castiel stared down at the large German Shepherd and the puffed up Siamese cat at his feet. Wrong.

"Hey!" Snarled the cat, "Cas! Earth to Cas!" The dog continued scratching behind his left ear, saying, "I'm itchy!"

Well, OK then. Behind the animals was a pile of men's clothes. Castiel could do this. "Come on," he told Sam the Dog and Dean the Cat. "We have got to get out of here before something worse happens."

"Are we going for a walk?" Sam the Dog wagged his tail hopefully.

"Just come on." Castiel swept up the pile of clothes into his arms and decided it was best to stay out of the house. Who knows what other spells could be in there. "Follow me," he said as he skirted the cabin around to the front door finding Dean's pile of clothes there too. Cas leaned over to fish Baby's keys out of a jacket pocket. When he straightened, he looked around and realized Dean the Cat was rolling around in a patch of herbs in the garden, while Sam the Dog had his leg hiked and was peeing on a garden gnome. The gnome looked grumpy.

Cas scooped up the rest of Dean's clothes, shook the weight in his arms to be sure the phones were still in the pockets, turned and headed for the car. He took another breath through his nose and smelled ozone and creosote. More magic. Time to go. "Just ... just, come on!"

"Shotgun!" yelped Sam the Dog as he sprinted toward Baby. "Don't get your dog smell on my upholstery!" Dean the Cat cried and then sneezed hard enough to send himself tumbling back into the basil. "I'm alright! I meant to do that!" Castiel opened the driver's door and Sam hopped into the front seat, turned around four times and settled down onto the passenger side, hanging his head out the window. "Come on, Dean!" Cas made an impatient gesture with his arm, willing the cat to just stop chewing on the basil and get into the car. Dean the Cat threw a final hiss in the direction of the garden gnome, then sprinted to the car and leapt into the back seat.

Cas slid into the Impala's driver's seat, put the keys in the ignition and turned the car's engine over. It sputtered but didn't start. "Be gentle with her, Cas! She's not one of Sam's bang-against-the-wall girls!" Dean the Cat spat at the angel in the driver’s seat. Sam the Dog hopped up and swung his heavy black head over the seat spattering a little drool across the cat, "Be nice, Dean!"

"Gross! You got your dog slobber on me! And I *am* the nice one! I'm Mr. Nice and Gentle! You're the Sasquatch who thinks it isn't a date until someone breaks the furniture!"

 

“If by ‘Mr Smooth and Gentle, you mean Mr Cheesy and Sappy. *cough* Dr Sexy *cough*”

 

“Girls like my sensitive side. Girls. Unlike those hairy-legged, blue-haired, militant feminists from women’s studies you keep bringing back to the motel. “

“I like feminists!”

“Right. Because you’re a Sasquatch, and they’re Sasquatches. Sasquatches all over the place, but no Man Card in sight.”

"Woof!" shouted Sam the Dog. "Rawr!" Dean the cat hissed!

"Cut it out!" Yelled Cas, trying the ignition again. This time it caught. Cas threw the transmission into reverse and executed a three-point-turn, spraying gravel as he sped away from the cabin in the woods with its black magic aura and its overgrown garden. He’d told them this was a bad idea.

“Dude, take that back!” barked Sam.

“Take what back, dogbreath? I’m not the one who brings knives and demons to bed!”

“Oh, it’s this again? We’re doing this again?!”

“Hell yes we’re doing this again! She was a DEMON, Sam. You fuck demons! In our room!”

“Ruby was ONE demon!”

“Like, what, there’s a one demon, one knife exception?!”

“Listen, furball, at least I know her name. And the names of the others. You’ve got them saved to your phone under “Omaha Red Head” and “Short Skirt in Sugar Land.” Real respect for women there!”

“I respect women! I respect their sexual agency enough to let them pick me up in a bar!”

At that moment, Dean the Cat sneezed hard directly into Sam the Dog’s snoot.

“Dude!”

“Dude!”

And Sam threw himself over the seat and pounced on the 15 pounds of Siamese sinew in the back seat. Dean the Cat hissed, twisted, leapt to Sam the Dog’s back and bit hard into his neck.

“Woof!”

“Rawr!”

That was it. That. Was. It.

Castiel yanked hard on the steering wheel, slewing the tail of the heavy Impala to throw Dean and Sam around in the back seat “Enough! Either you two knock it off, or I am pulling this car over and getting out! And you two can figure out how to get back to being Sam and Dean the Humans without me!”

"Sorry, Cas!" both boys yelled to the driver. Then, "jerk!" to each other. Cas sighed and pulled two deep breaths through his nose. This time he only smelled dog and leather. Better. A few more hours and they'd be back at the bunker, and then they could work this magic mess out.

Cas adjusted the rear view mirror so he could see into the back. Sam the Dog had settled down across the bench seat and Dean the Cat was curled into his side. They looked to be asleep. Better. "Hey, Cas?" Dean the Cat said softly.

"Yes, Dean?" Cas glanced into the mirror and caught the cat's eyes.

"You were right, man. That was a bad idea."

"I know, Dean. But we will fix it." Cas' eyes flicked back and forth between the road ahead and the cat's amber eyes in the mirror, until Dean closed them and settled his chin on Sam's ribs.


	3. Hoo Doo? You Do!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie likes Halloween. Sam likes sweet potatoes. Dean likes pie. Castiel wishes everyone would just be quiet.

While things were quiet in the backseat, Castiel hit the button on his phone to speed dial Charlie. She picked up on the second ring:

"Yo! Angelface!"

"Hello, Charie."

"You sound all Seriousface. What's going on?"

"I told the boys rushing into a creepy cabin in the woods was a terrible idea."

"That doesn't sound good."

"It isn't. I was hoping you could help."

"Wait. Did you say a creepy cabin in the woods, Cas?"

"Yes?"

"Was there a witch!?"

"Um, there was dark magic. And an herb garden."

"There was a witch! Oh, I've got all the feels about witches! And it's Halloween! Eeeee! Halloween Witch Hunt!"

"Charlie, I don't think -- "

"No, Cas, this is going to be great! Uh.. I can be at the bunker in 8 hours. Maybe 7. Definitely 7 1/2. OK. Gotta run. See ya, bestie!"

Castiel glanced down at his phone. He'd be at the bunker a few hours ahead of Charlie. OK, Cas could do this.

* * *

Dean and Sam woke up as Cas pulled the Impala into the bunker's garage.

Dean the Cat arched his back and then stretched out his full length across the bench seat. Sam the Dog yawned mightily and scratched his neck again with his hind leg. "I'm hungry."

"When we get you both inside, I will check the kitchen and see what food you have. If we need food, I will go out and buy some." Cas took a breath and hesitated, "uh, I may need some assistance because I don't know what you eat."

Sam barked happily and bounded out of the back seat as Castiel opened the passenger door for him, "I'm an omnivore! I eat everything! I want a salad! Can we get sweet potatoes? I l love sweet potatoes! And I want to go for a run! Let's run, Cas!"

"I want burgers!" Dean slinked out of the car and swaggered over to the door. "And pie! I want pie!"

"Cats don't eat pie, stupid!" Sam bounced around the garage. "I want sushi! Let's run! Run, Cas!"

"OK ..." Castiel began, but Dean stretched up and pawed at the door from the garage into the bunker, "I'm sleepy! Shut your yap!"

"We just had a nap!"

"And it was awesome. I want another one."

"I want to run!"

"I want pie!"

"Run!"

"Enough!" Castiel shouted. "You both have to move so that I can open the door. Then, I will check the kitchen and find something for you to eat. You will eat what I find. Then I will take Sam for a run, while Dean takes a nap. After Charlie arrives, we will make a better plan."

Cas looked at both Dean and Sam, and then Dean inched a few inches to the left barely leaving Castiel enough space to reach over him and push the door open. "I ..."

Just then, Dean leapt onto Sam's back and chomped hard on one sensitive ear.

Sam yelped and shook his body violently, but Dean dug his claws in and held on. Sam began spinning in a circle and snarling, while a low growl rumbled from deep in Dean's chest.

"Jerk!"

"Nerd!"

"Furball!"

"Dogbreath!"

Castiel sighed. He raised his right hand, twisted his wrist, and with a subtle gesture of his fingers, he called a little bit of rain and drenched them both. Dean howled in surprise and sprang from Sam's back to hide beneath the Impala.

"Using sneaky angel powers is cheating!" Dean whined.  
  
Sam barked a laugh.  
  
"You are fine, Dean. Stop being so dramatic," sighed (again!) Castiel.

Sam shook violently and sprayed Dean with more water.

Dean arched his spine to spring in retaliation, but Cas stepped in front of Sam, "No!" Cas shouted. "Bad cat!" and then he turned to Sam, "Bad dog!" and then to them both, "Get in the house! Now!"

Dean and Sam both ran into the house and headed for the kitchen. Cas wiped the water from his face and took out his phone. He sent a quick text to Charlie, "please hurry. and please stop for groceries."

And then Castiel looked heavenward, took his tenth (at least) deep breath of the day, and headed into the house.

 

* * *

Cas found Sam and Dean in the kitchen. Dean was on a shelf of pots and pans, while Sam was lying in the middle of the floor. It looked to be a standoff, to Cas, which was fine because at least they were quiet. He opened the refrigerator and found beer, mustard, a bottle labeled ‘holy water,’ and a deli container of mixed olives. The freezer had two frozen pizzas, a quart of ‘Chubby Hubby,’ four empty ice trays, a bottle of vodka, and a bottle of gin. Cas sent another text to Charlie, “also, ice.”

The ellipses that indicated Charlie was typing appeared on his screen. Then her message came through, “Are we having a party?”

“That’s one word for it,” Cas texted back.

“Yes! Halloween Party!” she sent back. Cas made a mental note to investigate Halloween.

“Sam, how do I make frozen pizzas?” Cas asked.

Dean the Cat snorted from his perch. Cas shot him a glare. Sam talked Cas through heating the oven and unwrapping the pizzas. He leaned up against the pantry cupboards to keep an eye on both of them as the pizzas heated. He was an angel. He had lived eternities. He could wait out the ten minutes it takes to cook a frozen pizza.

Finally, the timer went off, and Cas removed the pizzas, put them on separate plates, and placed the plates on the floor on opposite sides of the kitchen. “Sam, I will be in the library when you are ready to go for our run. Dean, don’t bite Sam.” Dean huffed and curled protectively around his pizza.

Now to figure out this Halloween business and search the lore for purple magic that smells like petrichor and turns hunters into household pets. Maybe that would be in the index, under Spot.


	4. Cas, You Didn't Tell Me We Were Doing Costumes This Year!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie joins the boys at the bunker.

"What up, bitches!?" Charlie calls from the top of the stairs. "Hmph," she said aloud not hearing a response to her greeting. She dropped the bags of groceries in her arms at the top of the stairs and then returned to her car to get the rest of her purchases. It took three trips, but her car was empty, and the grocery bags were heaped at the top of the stairs.

Where were those boys, this crap was heavy.

"Sam! Dean! Angelface!" Charlie shouted. But no one responded, which was super odd because Cas said they'd be here. 

Charlie shrugged and began hauling groceries down to the kitchen and setting them on Dean's huge, stainless steel prep table. Dean had rounded it up from one of the bunker's many storage rooms. At some point, Dean had even Amazon-ed a couple of those rubber chef's mats - one was in front of the prep table and one was in front of the gas stove. The mats were cushy on her feet to stand and way better than the hard floor. Dean really did have a nice setup here. And the guy could cook. Too bad about his whole dick problem.

Charlie unpacked the contents of her reusable grocery bags (reduce, reuse, recycle!) onto the table and folded the bags neatly, stacking them in a pile. She got two kinds of cereal, one with shredded wheat and one with sugary colored shapes and cartoon characters on the box. She got a bag of vanilla almond granola for herself and Castiel. As she walked over to the cupboard where Dean kept the cereal, she accidentally kicked something on the floor. It turned out to be a dirty plate covered in crumbs. Weird. Who left a plate on the floor? Actually, now that she looked around, there was another plate over by the walk-in pantry. Huh. She picked them both up and placed them in the sink.

Milk, juice, beer, and Greek yogurt went into the fridge, along with some cheese and salsa. Chips, chips, and more chips, went into the pantry. Some fruit went into a bowl on the counter and veggies went into the crisper drawer in the fridge. A few frozen pizza and burritos went into the freezer, good goddesses these boys had nothing but booze in their freezer! She also hefted in a couple of bags of ice. Coffee beans went into the cupboard above Dean's fancy coffee maker; she was so glad she'd given Castiel that burr coffee grinder last Christmas. At least you could get a decent cup of coffee with the boys now. She put the tortillas, the wheat bread, and the taco shells in the pantry.

Oh! Cream and almond milk! She rummaged through the groceries and found the cream and almond milk, eggs, ground beef, sour cream, and a couple of chickens. That all went into the fridge too. Along with a couple of cubes of yeast; maybe they could talk Dean into baking his mom's cinnamon rolls. Speaking of, where had she put the butter and cream cheese? Aha! Beneath the bags of Halloween candy. Charlie was still working hard on putting away the groceries when the bunker door swung open and she heard someone banging down the stairs. "Woof! Woof! Charlie!" 

OK, when did Sam get a dog? Charlie turned away from her task and headed toward the direction of the dog sounds when Castiel shouted from somewhere near the bunker door, "Sam! Wait for me!"

And that's about when Charlie was tackled to the floor by the biggest German Shepherd she had ever seen. "Charlie!" the dog shouted just before it licked both of her cheeks.

"Gah!" Charlie cried, "you're crushing me! Stop licking me! Get off!"   
  
"OK! OK! Woof!" the dog shouted as he bounded off Charlie and careened into Castiel's legs. "Hold still, Sam! Let me get your leash off!"

"Hurry up! Hurry up! I need water!" the dog woofed, dancing happily on his four paws.

Charlie's eyes went wide as she raised up on her elbows to look up at Castiel and his ginormous doggo. "Cas? Why does your dog talk? And why did you call him Sam?"

Cas sighed again as he unclipped the leash from the collar and the dog bounded into the kitchen skidding into a wall as it turned a corner to run through the kitchen doorway. Cas reached his hand out and offered it to Charlie. She accepted and Cas helped her up off the floor. He opened his mouth to speak, but from the kitchen the dog shouted, "Cas! Cas! I want water! Come get me water!"

Cas' shoulder slumped and he shook his head balefully. "I'll be there in a moment, Sam! Calm down!"

Woof! Woof! came from the kitchen, along with a scrabbling sound that had Castiel rolling his eyes.

"I'm afraid we've had a magical mishap that turned Sam into a dog. Speaking of magical mishaps, you haven't seen a large, green-eyed Siamese cat around here, have you?" Cas asked, pinching the bridge of his nose like he was trying to stave off a headache.

"Don't Siamese cats have blue eyes?" Charlie asked, never failing to focus on the details.

"Apparently not when the cat is a transmogrified version of Dean," Cas replied his mouth turned down like he'd eaten a whole lemon.

"Oh!" Charlie gasped. "Oh goddesses! Dean is allergic to cats!"

Cas just slumped further, and Charlie realized he was in running clothes and sort of drippy and sweaty. And then she started to giggle. Something about this was just utterly absurd. Or maybe she was hysterical. Whatever. Laughing seemed to be the way to go.

Cas took a deep breath and then the corners of his mouth quirked up, "I guess it is a small bit amusing."

Charlie got herself under control. "Cas, listen. How about if you go get Sam some water and then go clean up from your run, and I'll look around and see if I can't find your missing Siamese Dean. We'll meet back in the library when we've got them both settled to talk about your 'magical mishap'."  
  
Cas moved to hug her and then  hesitated. "I would hug you except that I am gross," he told her looking down at himself.

"It's fine Cas," she smiled broadly as she threw her arms around him. He patted her back and felt a wave of intense relief. It was no longer two to one. No, with Charlie here, the animals wouldn't outnumber the humans. This would be better.

"OK," he agreed as Sam woofed again from the kitchen. Cas rolled his eyes.

Charlie giggled again. "I brought some new coffee beans from that roastery you like. Seems like you might need it."  
  
"You're a very good friend, Charlie."  
  
"Well, you're not, Angelface."

Cas cocked his head to one side in question.

"Well, you didn't tell me this was going to be a costume party! I didn't pack a costume!"

Cas huffed out a chuckle and headed for the kitchen as Charlie turned toward the hall with the bedrooms. Dean was probably in his bed.


	5. Fairytale Floofs!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will we de-hex our favorite floofs?

Charlie tried Dean's room first since it made the most sense that he would go hide in his own room. Also, Dean is a neatnik, and if Charlie does have to search all their rooms, she'd rather start with the cleanest one and hope for the best.

Dean's bed was made with hospital corners, and there were no indentations on the pillows or duvet where a cat would have stepped.

His desk drawers were closed, the surface of his desk was tidy, and his desk chair was empty. His dresser drawers and the drawers of his night table were closed (not that she would have minded poking through his porn stash, the boy had pretty good taste in possessors of vaginas after all). She dropped to the floor and peered beneath the bed, not even a dust bunny was under there. The closet was tidy and also cat-free. 

She decided to try Castiel's room next. Maybe their 'profound bond' made Dean feel safe in Cas' space. Cas wasn't as tidy as Dean, but it didn't matter much because Cas owned almost nothing. He only pulled one book at a time from the bunker's library. He didn't have a computer of his own, or any weapons beyond his angel blade which was mounted on the wall. He had a couple of changes of clothes, and anything else he needed, he just borrowed from Dean. So, not much to make a mess with. Still, the bed was rumpled and the pillows askew. A towel was drying over the back of a side chair. Still no cat in the bed, beneath it, or in the nearly-empty closet. Hm.

Charlie really did not want to go through Sam's room. He wasn't a slob, per say. He was just kind of messy. She sighed, opened the door and peered in. His desk was piled high with books and files, and his laptop was wedged in between all the texts. His desk chair was piled with what looked like pajamas. His shelves had various artifacts from around the bunker as well as a few personal possessions -- a framed photograph of Jess with flowers in her hair, a framed photo of Dean and Sam with Bobby, and a framed photo of Jody, Alex, and Claire curled up on a couch asleep. Sam's bed was unmade and there were piles of books on his night table and on the floor on one side of his bed. His closet was open and there were piles of clothes and sheets on the floor as if he were in the middle of sorting them to wash them. She found a short-ish carved wooden something-or-other on one of his shelves and used it to poke the piles of laundry (heck no she wasn't putting her hands in dirty man-laundry!) but no cat. She dropped onto the floor and peered beneath the bed where she found an entire colony of dust bunnies. She sneezed. Nope no cat.

Huh.

Wait a minute ... no. He wouldn't. Would he?

A smirk crossed Charlie's face as she retreated back down the hall and over to the coat rack just outside the war room. Heh. This was too easy. Just as she suspected, Cas' trench coat wasn't hanging on the rack. No, it was in a pile on the floor in the corner behind the rack. She extended the wooden thingy and jabbed at the trench coat. The pile of coat made an angry growling sound and Dean's voice said, "go the fuck away, I'm sleeping."

Charlie burst into laughter. "Dean!" she cried yanking the coat up by the collar and falling into giggles again as an enormous, green-eyed Siamese cat came rolling out and crashed head first into a wall. Dean growled again, "hey! Not cool!" 

"I thought cats were supposed to be graceful, Dean!" Charlie laughed as she carefully hung Cas' coat. Then she bent over and scooped Dean up into her arms. "Oof! You're heavy!"

"Damned straight. I'm a badass cat."

Sam loped into the room and woofed at the cat in Charlie's arms.

"Back off, dog breath!" Dean snarled.

"Stop being a dick, butthole!" Sam barked back.

"OK, OK, that's enough anatomy for the moment" Charlie told them swinging Dean over one of her shoulders and grabbing Sam's collar with one free hand. "Let's get everyone into the library and wait for Cas to finish his shower."

Charlie had just gotten Sam settled on a floor rug and Dean on a throw pillow on the couch when Cas walked in, hair wet, dressed in faded jeans and a hoodie, and carrying a very large mug of coffee. He sat down in a club chair and sipped his coffee eyeing Sam and Dean balefully.

"Hey Cas!" Sam woofed. "Want to play!?"

"I want a back rub," Dean whined.

Cas' eyes narrowed and Charlie raised her hands. "OK, OK, here's what we're going to do. We're going to very nicely ask our brilliant and knowledgeable angel friend if he's thought of anything that might help us here. And then, while the human people persons discuss a plan, the pet people persons will sit quietly. Got it?"  
  
Sam and Dean both grumbled and settled their heads on their front paws glaring at Charlie.

"As it happens, while in the shower I had a vague memory of something familiar about the purple smoke. So, I made a trip to the archives in the basement and came back with ... wait, I left it in the kitchen." Cas gathered himself to rise from the chair but Charlie hopped up faster. "Nope! I'll get whatever it is you left in the kitchen! I need a cup of coffee anyway!" And she was gone leaving Cas to watch over his sulking animal friends.

Charlie returned in a moment with a steaming white coffee mug that read 'OGG Original Gamer Girl' on the side and a large, box held against her body in her other arm. "Here you go, Cas."

He placed the box carefully on a table and lifted the lid. He pulled a pair of white gloves from the box and slipped them on. Then he lifted out a large and heavy book.

"That looks really old, Cas!"

"It is," he told Charlie.

Dean sneezed loudly.

"Dean!" Sam hissed. "Please don't get your cat snot on the antiquities!"

"Just say 'old shit', Sammy! You don't have to be a snob!"

Charlie glared at them both.

"As I was saying," Cas began again, his tone brittle, "I remembered coming across this old text on fairy tales, and when I checked it again in the archives, it did in fact mention the presence of purple smoke when Red Riding Hood disappeared into the woods."

"I don't remember that in the story!" Dean grumbled.

"What do you know about fairy tales, furball?" Sam sniped.

Charlie swatted Sam with the stick she'd been carrying around. Cas' eyes went wide. "Charlie! Where did you get that?"

"This carved stick? It was on a shelf in Sam's room. I used it to poke his piles of laundry when I was looking for Dean because I didn't want to touch Sam's dirty underwear."

Dean laughed and it sounded like a merow-ing noise. Sam grumbled low in his chest. 

"Charlie," Cas said his tone low and careful, "could you please pass that to me very slowly?"

"What is it?" Sam asked. "I don't remember it being in my room."

Castiel breathed deeply as he took the stick from Charlie. "I believe, this is the magic wand mentioned in the opening chapter of this text," Cas said enunciating each word.

Dean laughed again, "magic wand," hahaha "in Sam's room" hahaha "bet his girlfriends would beg to differ" hahaha!

Sam was up on his feet but Charlie tackled him, "stop it, Sam!"

Castiel glared at Dean, "don't make me rain on you again." Dean harrumphed and flopped back down on his pillow.

Sam sprawled on the floor, and Charlie leaned against his ribs. "So wait," Sam said his tone cautious, "you're saying Charlie was poking my laundry with a magic wand from a fairy tale book?"

Cas pinched his nose again. Wasn't there a wives tale about it sticking that way? Or was that sticking your tongue out? 

"I'm not sure that's important, right now, Sam" Charlie said her voice rushed. "What else does the book say, Cas?"

"It is a collection of fairy tales, each one prefaced with a magic symbol and a short incantation. The opening chapter mentions the wand is used to imbue the symbol and incantation with magic.

"Huh," was all Charlie said.

"So, Cas, you're saying fairy tales are all actually spells of some kind?" Dean drawled, stretching out on the couch.

"It would seem so if this text is correct."

"So, how do we know which fairy tale spell to cast to put us back into our human people person bodies?" Sam asked stretching out his chin for Charlie to scratch.

 "I don't know," Cas said with a hint of worry in his voice and a frown that he hid behind his coffee mug.

"Guess we're going to have to try them all one at a time," Charlie answered, voice chipper. "You remember how fun that whole Oz thing was. This will be great! And on Halloween too!"

"I don't know," Sam said titling his head so Charlie could get at one of his ears. "Random magic sounds like a bad idea."

"But it won't be random!" Charlie chirped warming to her topic, "we'll start at the beginning and work through each one! Scientific-like!"

Sam woofed as he caught her enthusiasm. 

"Cas," Dean yawned, "is this a good idea?"

"I don't know that we have much of a choice, Dean," Cas said slumping into his chair after setting the wand carefully in the box the book had been in.

"Of course it's a good idea!" Charlie was really excited now. "They're just fairy tales! What could be bad about fairy tales!"

 


	6. Red

Charlie carried the book and the box of chalk, while Castiel carried the wand. Dean strutted along behind them with Sam nipping at his tail. Dean whirled and batted at Sam's nose. Sam huffed and headbutted Dean who slid across the floor.

"Will you two stop playing around and get out of the way so I can draw a salt circle on the floor?" Charlie snapped.

Dean hopped up on Sam's back and Sam settled against the halfbookcase against the wall. It had been decided that if they were going to draw symbols on the floor and say incantations while waving a wand, they were doing it inside a salt circle. Charlie poured the salt in a circle while Castiel drew the simple squiggly line with a crosshatch through it on the floor.

He raised the wand and whispered "lux" his breath running over its carved surface. The symbols glowed a soft purple. Charlie yipped and hopped out of the salt circle.

Cas studied the page carefully, raised the wand and spoke clearly:

I am Castiel  
Brimwylf hofe to cóm

A puff of purple smoke filled the room. And when it cleared, standing in the circle was a young woman in her early 20s with fair skin, chocolate eyes, and long dark red hair. She was wearing leather armor, knee boots and had several knives strapped to her body. A heavy red cloak hung from her shoulders ending just above the ankle of her boots. A silver cross hung from a leather thong on her neck. She held a crossbow in one hand. A large white wolf sat at her feet.

"Hello, Castiel! I'm Red!"

Castiel inclined his head in the woman's direction, "Hello, Red."

"Wait!" Charlie cried excitement bubbling up in her voice, "are you Little Red Riding Hood?"

The young woman looked back at Charlie and gave her a smile that was all teeth. Her wolf raised its large head and settled its icy blue eyes on Charlie. Charlie whimpered and took a step back.

Sam lowered his shoulder and shook Dean carefully off his back. Then he took a few steps toward the salt circle and presented himself at Cas' side.

"That is a beautiful hound you have, Castiel," Red's sweet voice rang with praise.

"He is not a hound, but I believe you know this. He is my kinsman, and his name is Sam," replied Cas not taking his eyes off the woman.

Red took another look at Sam, sniffing the air and tilting her head to listen to something in the air. Her eyebrows lifted. "Oh. This is ... unusual."

"More unusual than summoning a fairy tale girl to our house?" Dean growled.

"And this is Dean," Cas added. Red nodded in Dean's direction, "hello, Dean."

The white wolf stood and paced back and forth at the edge of the salt circle. Red made a clicking noise with her tongue and teeth, and the wolf stilled but did not return to Red's side. "This is Hildedéor, and she is my kinsman. She says that you are worthy opponents."

"Do they have to fight you to break the spell," Charlie asked her forehead crinkling in concern.

Red's laughter rang off the walls like joyful music. "Oh, no! This spell, I cannot break. Even if we fought all day and night. I meant that my kinsman believes your hound to be worthy of her."

Sam the Dog stepped up to the wolf with only the thin salt line separating him from her. He lowered his head and then settled down in front of her. Charlie froze. Cas' eyes narrowed. Dean laughed and hopped up on a chair to get a better view. The wolf grumbled softly in her throat and lay down opposite Sam.

Red waved her hand, "my friends, the wolf says that she is pleased by your Sam. We thank you for your kindness and respect."

Castiel's jaw set as he continued to glare at Red. "I mean no harm, Castiel. We will happily leave this place if you will release us."

"You don't know how to break this magic then?" Charlie asked, clarifying this time.

"I do not, sister. But, I can smell this much. The same magic that made your friends is the magic that binds me to that book."

"But we knew that already!" Charlie huffed in frustration. Red cocked her head, puzzled at Charlie's outburst.

"We did not in fact know this for certain," Castiel replied. "Red, I thank you for this valuable information and release you."

"Be well, Castiel. You and Sam may summon us again; my friend and I would enjoy your company."

Castiel inclined his head at Red and waved the wand. Red and the wolf vanished.

"Cas," Dean growled. "What. The. Hell."


End file.
